The Honor

This morning was just like any other morning around here lately.

The Handsome boy wakes up with a leaked diaper, needs a bath, clean clothes, and layers upon layers of bedding need to be laundered.

I’ve been here before. In fact, this is the exact same scenario we have encountered every morning for the past week or so. These spurts come and go, typically I guess we could say they may come along with new growth spurts.

One day last week the morning started at 3 am. My husband was awakened in the wee hours only to discover that at some time after everyone went to sleep, the Handsome had a diaper blowout. It took ten loads of laundry, lots of oil diffusing, and open windows on a below-freezing winter day to get the boy’s room back in order.

As we are entering into pre-teen years with our boy, the hormones of puberty are upon us. Changing diapers for the boy gets more cumbersome and awkward, not only with his growing body, but mine as well (almost seven months pregnant). The current situation has the boy too large for children’s overnight diapers, but too small for adult diapers. So regardless of which we use, they leak.

I wrote to the manufacturer of the overnight diapers we use asking them if they by any chance had any other diapers for larger children that maybe I was missing somehow. Maybe they make them and sell them under a different name, or by mail-order only. Maybe they would understand that at $0.85 per diaper for an 11-year-old, we don’t need fancy logos or images because he doesn’t look at them anyways. However, the need for a larger diaper for a disabled child is very real…and expensive.

They replied with a less than heartfelt, nope, sorry, outta luck response. They included a $1 off coupon.


This morning, as I was getting the Handsome out of his bath, he smiles and has a mouthful of something to say that I cannot understand. He has so much to say. So I let him speak and I smile and tell him how happy I am to hear his voice and love that he just told that to me! I encouraged him to collect his little mini figures he was playing with in the tub so they don’t go down the drain. He collects the 2 dozen little mini figures and dumps them onto the bath rug, bringing with them copious amounts of water.

He begins his OCD habit of turning the drain lever to open and then closed again for a series of anywhere from 8-10 times before pulling the drain plug completely out of the tub. Then he stands on the side of the tub and bends down to watch the whirlpool of water swirl and gurgle its way down the drain until the very last drop of water is gone. He replaces the drain plug and lets me finish drying his now shivering body.

As I’m drying him and getting him dressed for the day, I pause to give thanks to God for this moment that I am afforded. I thank God for the opportunity and the blessing and the honor I get in being this boy’s momma. I have the fortunate opportunity to serve this boy for the rest of my life.

For that I am most thankful this morning.

I can’t think about what bathing and dressing and grooming him for the next 40 years will look like. It’s too overwhelming.

I can’t think about what affording his lifetime of care will cost my husband and I or our sons and their wives. It’s too fearful.

All I can do is trust that the Lord will provide and be thankful for the opportunity.

My mind goes back to something my oldest son said when he was 7 years old. …

A young girl named Gillian had stolen the heart of my oldest son. In deep thought one day, my son asked me if I thought he should buy a farm in north Georgia before or after marrying Gillian. I asked him why he would ask that. And he said, well, because if I buy the farm before marrying her, I am ready to provide for her. But if I wait until after, she can pick out the cabinets and countertops. I told him not to worry about that just yet. And then he says so matter of factly, “When I grow up and get married and am the dad of my own kids and Handsome, I will make sure my wife and kids and Handsome each have their own horse.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the goal of my life. To raise my sons to know and love and honor their brother.


Thanks for stopping by today.

One thought on “The Honor

  1. Such a beautiful blog. And I would say you are definitely accomplishing the goal of your life. Your boys are the most loving, considerate little gentleman I know. There’s no doubt they will treat Handsome like a king when it’s their turn to step in. Love you, Sengul Family!

    Liked by 1 person

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