Last fall we found out we were expecting a baby. After a ten year hiatus on birthing children and being in my 40s, “pregnant” wasn’t the first thought that came to my mind when I missed my period. I was honestly thinking, wow, I’m already in peri-menopause, sah-weet!
However, after about ten days of that missed cycle, my husband joked with me that it sure would be funny if I was pregnant, and we laughed and chatted about having a baby at our ages. As the day wore on, I kept thinking about the possibility of being pregnant again and by the afternoon, I just had to know for sure and get the thought out of my mind. I ran to the store and picked up two pregnancy tests. Even though it was late in the day, and not the first tinkle of the day, I went ahead and took the first test. Double pink lines appeared instantly, and I was in shock. I decided to take the second one first thing the next morning, and again, double pink lines appeared instantly.
Wait…what? What just happened? There’s no freaking way! Way.
Throughout my pregnancy, one of the biggest fears the hubs and I would discuss is how having a new baby around here will impact Handsome. If you know my boy, then you know when he hears a baby or small child crying, he will cry, too. If he hears a child throwing a tantrum, he will become overwhelmed instantly and his reactions can vary from aggressive to uncontrollably sad, depending on how his mood was prior to hearing or witnessing the tantrum.
How would Handsome respond to our new baby? That would seriously keep us up at night. When friends would ask what we needed, I would ask them to help us pray for Handsome as he copes with the new addition. Up until the final days of the pregnancy, when friends would ask me what I needed, I would say prayers for Handsome.
We were so unsure of how much Handsome could understand about the pregnancy. It was obvious that he knew something was different about me. He was fascinated by my growing belly and would often lay his ear on my belly like he was listening. He would rub my belly and occasionally line toys up on my belly, too. In the last trimester of pregnancy we decided to teach Handsome that baby’s name. So everyday we would rub my belly and say the baby’s name. It didn’t take long for Handsome to connect that idea, and he quickly learned how to say the name. With perfect clarity!
As the pregnancy was drawing to the end, the days with Handsome were becoming increasingly more difficult. As my body was unable to keep up with him, change his diapers, brush his teeth, participate in his goodnight routine, even basic care was too difficult for me to manage. Throw in random placenta/bleeding issues and edema I had throughout the pregnancy, and I was just in no shape to do much of anything, especially for the final six weeks or so.
Handsome was negatively impacted by my absence from his routine. His behaviors were out of control and we were all frustrated to no end with him, his challenges, his demands. Life was proving to be difficult, and I often questioned God how can we get through this? Why does everything have to be so difficult with him all the time? Why can’t we just be normal?
Ok, so yeah, pregnancy hormones had me all whacked up, I know.
In the final week of pregnancy, the hubs took all the boys to church without me. On their way out, Handsome stopped to watch and listen to a small child crying. Normally, Handsome would either cry or get upset. But this day was different. He watched. And then he said our baby’s name.
He understood much more than we gave him credit for.
Enter D-Day (delivery day).
Another thing I prayed for throughout the pregnancy was to have my baby at night, after the Handsome boy had already gone to bed. I prayed that God would deliver that to me, and HE DID! While my labor began before bedtime, and Handsome was all out of sorts that evening, baby was born shortly after midnight and the Handsome was asleep.
In the final moments of pregnancy, I entered into a deep state of meditation and prayer. The contractions were constant and extremely painful, but I had emotionally left that state and focused on praying. I asked God to help me deliver the baby without any pushing. And HE DID! I stood up, and the baby plopped out. I never once pushed!
My labor didn’t go quite as planned. We did have our planned home birth. But I had a few complications and shortly after the baby was born, I had to be transported to the ER for a blood transfusion. Thankfully by the time I was there, my hemoglobin had regulated enough where my husband was able to refuse it. About ten hours later, the hubs told the hospital that he was taking me home because I was stable and conscious. So home we went. When my baby was about ten hours old, I got to see him for the first time, although I had held him and nursed him multiple times, I did so in a state of unconsciousness. I finally got to see my baby.
And all is right with the world.
But how would Handsome handle having a baby in the home?
Every time he hears the baby cry, he says his name. Every time he hears the baby coo or whimper, he says his name. He touches the baby’s hair and says, “soft.” And…
He kisses the baby!
Yes indeed, GOD has delivered a healthy baby boy to our family! My recovery is expected to take several months as opposed to the typical six weeks. My summer garden ain’t happening, so looks like we will be getting to know our local farm stand well this season. And that’s ok. Because we have our baby E now!
Thanks for stopping by today.